Values

I watched you arrive, one by one.
I waited for just one more and this morning, Analia found her way in.
I was only thinking of Ruth and Mick on the 7th, and honestly not expecting to see anyone, because the point was that I felt I just had to make this, as a rite.
But, you all came and I you were the ones, just you.
OK, I let a "stranger" in and have been helping Wendy's son in Oregon to make his school project ever since. That was pure serendipity.
To have you together - Ruth, Paul, Auds, Jenny, Mimi, Lucie and Analia - has been even more serendipitous, and has given an extraordinary feeling. the bonds still hold.
As Analia was last in, only she could remark on it. But Ani, what you didn't know was I was waiting for you!

If you should want to see photos of mine, you can find me in
http://www.woophy.com/member/SJS

A great community of 20,000+ and I amuse myself there every day. That's all.
Bless every one of you, my dear friends. Like I always say: Presume nothing.

 

 

 

 

For Ruth, for Mick

My very dear Ruth,
I haven't forgotten.
Even as this struggle goes on (in the wrong direction), I remember 7 April 2007 and all I can think is how terribly painful tomorrow is going to be for you.
But you have to see it through, like all the other 365 days past.
And I have every certainty that you will, whatever the pain.
I took these photos (miraculously, I assure you) just this morning. So these are fresh flowers.
And I thought of you and wondered. About you; about all of us.
There aren't words. There aren't answers to the questions.
Courage & strength, dear,sweet Ruth.
Love, as always,
Stewxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

 

Works of Art

Hi to all, on a rare grey wet Monday, after a similar yesterday and a night of torrents, thunder and lightning. Warm, though. The rain will pass.
It was such a pleasure to see you come visit the previous post...and more than just a pleasure. Mimi, you arrived just a couple of hours after I had been thinking of you yesterday morning. Cergie, the same [je suis en train d'exprimer mon plaisir à l'égard des visites chez moi d'hier. Et encore davantage, que tu sois arrivée, comme mauigirl et pequete, très peu de temps après que j'aie pensé à toi! Et c'est vrai, ce que tu dis au sujet des hirondelles]. Then pequete did the same. Auds, you are forever...well, Auds. Pat, I'm afraid I don't know you, or how you found me, but it is a shame that this blog reflects today all that is today, rather than what it was.
You see, I have so little to shoot pics of, mostly the same place and the same subjects, which are too limited to make public endlessly. Aslo, I have become afflicted by some kind of internal 'virus', which is leaving me drifting further & further away from the internet, electronic communications and even the computer, to which I am now at times really averse.
However, my pleasure at receiving your warm thoughts & wishes revived me and I want to take advantage of that firstly, to say nothing more that is negative today & secondly, to show you 4 photos shot last week that are not from that same place by the water, and that please me.
1) I think this is the best photo I've taken in ages. Not great at all, but different. I've had my eye on that door for weeks, and finally, I remembered to whip out the camera. It was lucky because the door is not usually open. You may be able to guess that this is the headquarters of the Portuguese Communist Party of Vila Franca de Xira, but I have never come across an entrance like this, with such wonderfully obvious ideological symbolism, anywhere. The PCP IS the sun!!! The open door, though, brings an added symbolism, leading us into the shadows....

 

Now, a meeting with 2 of my most valued local friends, Alenquer on the left and Ferrer on the right. So often, we just bump into each other like this, before lunch or at the end of the afternoon. Alenquer is 67 years old. Ferrer, astonishingly, is 77! Look at him! How can it be? He has lived such a full life here and in Mozambique, has about 6 children and seems to be eternally in his 40s. Not only does he know how to look after himself well, but his mind is fresh and sharp. I've rarely met anyone anywhere so good at talking, about anything, always wothwhile listening to. Incredible memory and no formal education, you should hear him recite vast chunks of poetry or monologues. Or jokes and anecdotes. Philosophy, cinema, politics - he is engaging, funny and almost always smiling. How I appreciate him! And Alenquer.

 

Over the past 3 or 4 weeks, I have developed an unprecedented interest in studying art. Most days, when I am in the library, & if I'm not busy with my own work, I can spend hours absorbed in books on the great artists or periods, learning, studying the works, writing my own impressions. I had a motivation at first to think about Hieronymus Bosch, but then became very focused on Breughel, Toulouse-Lautrec, Seurat and Goya. Above all, Rembrandt.
Then, while browsing, I found this English work last week and could hardly believe that it is a painting, so photographic is it. Often, people comment that a certain photo looks like a painting. This is the contrary. Painted in 1768, that makes it 70 years older than the first photograph. Look at those faces, the light! And the clouds lit by the moon, top right-hand corner. I wish my photo was better, but it was really the best I could do. Stunning, to me at least.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts. And may we all be very very well.

 

 

Still Looking to Fly

It has to be.
They are that vital to me.
Today, in the midst of the trench warfare that Monday mornings have become and the struggle to repair the damage, today with little success, I watched this cormorant flying upriver.
Half an hour later, ,my first shots of swallows, closer and better than any for a couple of years.

Of course, that camera with the 18x optical zoom would have catured them all better, but no complaints.

 

 

 

Nightfall These Days

Balmy spring, isn't it?
Or should that be barmy spring?
I saw the first swallows yesterday, earliest I ever remember. Up to 21º/70ºF. There's a stork nesting in the middle of the town. A large white and grey owl has returned, also months early.
So I have some photos of the night falling, looking west - as usual - from the quayside - as usual. My remaining sanctuary.
Sincere thanks to all who expressed support, one way or another, regarding Ana.
This is just to give a belated update on her. She had the test, nothing really serious found. Irritable bowel. A nuisance more than anything. She'll have another test soon. But mostly back to what she would term normal, very thankfully.

Now, Bring on the Night............

 

 

 

 

That Time of the Month

Time it was and what a time it was...
This month of January 2008.
A month of illnesses; a month of desperations.
I sincerely hope you are faring better than me, coping enjoying, staring down whatever life and the elements are chucking at you.
Even when I have felt less able than ever before to do what I think I do best (communicate), wonderful people keep coming to pierce the iron bars and platinum walls to shine shards of brilliant light into the darkness that has grown in this hole.
Our backs are up against this wall. For almost 2 weeks, it has been a totally new scare to Ana's health.
On that Friday morning May 4th last, when the news broke that Maddie McCann had disappeared, my first observation out loud was: "Now they are going to find that they have been on holiday in a land invented by Franz Kafka. Where it is paradise, until you have a problem, above all involving the police or the "health" service".
Nothing that has happened, or not happened, since in the McCann case has made me change my mind. I know too well how it can be here, unless you have a lot of money, or a bunch of well-placed, highly influential friends in the elite. There is an abyss, on the edge of which most of the population lives, passively, hoping for miracles, moaning, but doing nothing.
That's how it is. Government by the elite, for the elite, but never OF the elite.
I will only say that Ana will have a colonoscopy on Thursday morning because, with our friendly next-door neighbour's help, we were finally able to break through Kafka's labyrinth and because we could pay for it to be done privately. Our conception of the word "urgent" does not seem to correspond to most of local society's conception of it.
It is tense. Who knows?
So, that's enough of my bulletin. I have a kind of computer/internet sickness - physical and mental.
I work when I have to. I am trying to write, but it is much more complex than I had expected, besides the sheer difficulty posed by my state of mind. Today, I made progress on it, though.
This last year has eaten into my being, ripped chunks out of me.
If we don't have peace of mind, we have nothing.
As for photography, it has stopped absorbing me, stopped making sense. No new subjects. No new camera. It came close, I got really confused with which camera. Finally I took a reality check, realised that I don't need one as things are, but want one because of the consumerist pressure on myself to buy something "therapeutically". And I have lost my confidence.
Nowe, there are other priorities.
So, here are strange forms, shot between 24 December and 19 January on a few sorties into the city.
24 Dec: Strong midday sunlight/Lamp-post/Its shadow/Diagonal

 

28 Dec: Strong midday sunlight/Staircase at Carcavelos Beach/Après-surf/Diagonal & horizontal.

 

4 Jan: Bright midday sunlight/Iron staircase of Santa Justa Tower/Girl on stairs/minerals and shapes

 

19 Jan: Strong, low, end-of-day sunlight/Almost-full moon rising above Lisboa in the harbour/horizontal

 

I am sorry for not writing, not replying, not visiting you. You understand.

Here's to 2008!

To you, dear reader, and to all yours, I wish you a smooth, safe passage through 2008.
May each day be sweet and kind to you;
May it bring you fulfilment and growth;
May you be blessed by its smiles, its fruits, its joys great and small;
And may you be able to look back down the hill, after the climb and say:
"That was a good journey.
I have given more than I have taken.
I have peace of mind, which is essential to this journey.
I look for no more than to do the same in 2009"